Ryan's Rock

Ryan William Kulik August 22, 1998-August 7, 1999 "Thumbs up you guys, everything is going to be OK."

There is a place in Old Saybrook, CT, on the town's western shoreline that I have been fishing for about 15 years. Although at this place fishing is good in several spots, there is one very special rock that has brought me great luck.

Surf fishing is a very special thing. On that rock about ten years ago, I would catch lots of fish...big fish...but more importantly, on that rock is where dreams were developed. Dreams of a family, kids, a house, a dog...I would stand perched on that rock and throw my dreams up to the heavens.

The rock is at the end of a jetty that is under water up until low tide. My friends call it Kulik Jetty after me because I could be found there so often.

Today, I want to dedicate that rock to my son Ryan. From here on in it will be called Ryan's Rock. Ryan's Rock is a flat stable rock that has two large, round boulders behind it; and two other smaller boulders behind it as well. The two big boulders represent Ryan's parents, the two smaller ones, his sisters. These boulders protect you should you catch a wave.

Surf fishing folklore has it that if you stand on Ryan's Rock and look south to the heavens and say a prayer for Ryan, you catch more fish. If you see a falling star, more the better, you don't even need to make a wish...good luck will surely come your way.

My eleven-month-old son, Ryan, has been in Intensive Care now for three days. And I am scared. The tide is going out and the water is getting shallow. The sun has come up and the fish have moved on to deeper water. And I am scared...and sad...and frightened.

Tomorrow the currents will be strong. A storm is on the horizon and the seas will be choppy. But I can still fish, and will always be protected, and can always dream, on Ryan's Rock.

(Note: Ryan passed away from a rare cellular disorder the day after this was written.)

Gary Kulik

August 6, 1999